“Don’t hike alone, make a lot of noise on the trails because the bears….”

Today, I was driving. And I was reminded of a trip that I took this past summer. I’d driven out west for work and after it was done, I went off on my own to go camping. 

I was in Montana and I thought, “Hey! I should go see some National Park in this area that I haven’t seen yet. Maybe Yellowstone NP or Glacier NP, just something new.”  The college course geology group, that had been photographing for the university I worked for, convinced me to go with Glacier NP (nicer rocks they said) and the next day I was on the road in my Honda for a solo camping/hiking adventure. I got to Glacier by lunch. As I pulled through the gate and paid for my park pass and collected the park map and brochures, the ranger, started giving me suggestions on how to be safe on the hiking trails, “Keep your food in your car. Be aware while on the trails. Don’t hike alone and make a lot of noise, because the bears….” and as she said that, she looked further into my car and saw that I was in fact, alone. Hastily, she started back with, “make sure you make A LOT of noise when you’re alone on the trails to scare away the bears. Also if you want to see the moose you have to be really quiet.” I drove away from the ranger station simply terrified, and feeling in a bit of a conundrum, about what I had just gotten myself into, but resigned myself that I would just need to do my best not to get eaten by bears. But also really, really, really wanting to see moose. 

The connection to my present day drive, came from the uncertainty I was feeling. Connected my the location of being situated in my car.  I worry often about how I am living my life. The thoughts of worry that I’m not living my life to the fullest present themselves while I’m driving, or maybe I just drive a lot and they just occasionally pop up. Lol. Either way, I do a lot of thinking about my place in this world and who I’ve met and what I’ve experienced. 

Experiences for me have value that far outweigh those which can be purchased.

I don’t have all the answers. And sometimes that frustrates me. Sometimes, I just want to know what my life is going to look like. I have a lot of uncertainties in this world.  I feel cowardly. I was able to make it through my camping/hiking trip in Montana. Along the way, I faced a healthy dose of fear, met a few lovely strangers, saw 4 moose and never saw any bear. But just as I always feel after a particularly challenging experience, I felt elated that not only I tried, but was able to be successful. 

There are many things that I find scary in this world and because I can see my nerves coming out, I make sure to push myself to live my life as hard as I can even if it may feel scary to me. I never want to miss out on an experience that I find so valuable because of my fear. 

-a wanderer-

“Pack yourself a toothbrush dear
Pack yourself a favorite blouse
Take a withdrawal slip
Take all of your savings out
‘Cause if we don’t leave this town
We might never make it out
I was not born to drown
Baby come on”