Hmong American Community

…”This has to be my most challenging assignment to date. The Fresno group isn’t really opening up to me and the core group of students, is so tight, it feels like a high school clique that just won’t let me in because I don’t have on the right pair of jeans. I talked to the group this morning. I asked them if I do more. I explained that I was the one who petitioned to come and document their program, not the IMC. That I thought their story deserved to be told.”

What does it mean to have the Hmong American experience?

For me, sharing in the Hmong American experience, I just feel like such an outsider. As I have been here, I’ve felt a lot of emotions. I feel like my hands were tied from being able to properly do my job. It was very limiting and frustrating. This a good program for these students; it needs and deserves to be recognized. Being allowed to do that doesn’t seem to be the case. From the core group of student’s perspective, they can only see the word “token” when they see me. I’ve never been faced with the complete lack of cooperation I’ve seen in this group. The term “lens” has been used a few times, and I’m trying to see this situation through the lens of these students.

The Closing Meeting

Sometimes you just have to take what you can get… The Fresno group just had their closing meeting and I thanked them for the experience, even though internally I felt frustrated with the end result professionally. In turn, they thanked me for participating today in the group conversation, for immersing myself, and that they wish I could have came sooner. That was nice to hear and I am happy to have had the experience to better understand the Hmong culture, its intricate formed traditions. There are many parts that are changing and parts that they are happy with staying the same. I left the closing meeting came that I was able to come and be exposed to this confusing, isolating and frustrating experience.

I feel more at peace now.

-a wanderer